Thoughts on Media, Objectification and Eating Disorders.

       When I was younger I was a fat kid. Not the chubby cute kind but the kind other kids laughed at, and didn't talk to, and even threw sand in their face. I had a tall heavy frame accentuated by my grandmother's love of spoiling me with candy and chocolate. I liked food. I liked food a lot.
        It wasn't until 6th grade that my body image took a toll on me. I was in middle school and I wanted nice clothes and maybe even a boyfriend. So I did the only thing I could. I stopped eating, I had my parents drive me to the gym most days, I even took diet pills. I went from a Size 16 to a size 8; from 210 lbs to 147 lbs. in less then a year. The kids in school loved looking at me. Those who I haven't seen in a while congratulated me on my new appearance and my fashionable clothes.
        But they didn't know that I was always hungry. They didn't know I would crack and binge eat then force myself to throw it up in the toilet. To them my suffering was  me getting healthy and taking care of my body. I wasn't.
         In 8th grade I had two surgeries on my stomach. The doctors said that the diet pills caused gallstones to form in my gallbladder which became infected. When I came out of the hospital it was impossible to keep up  my gym routine and I gained a lot of my weight back.
         I am now a size 12 which shouldn't bother me but it does. It bothers me when I walk into the store and can't find my size. It bothers me when I look at store displays and ads and see models with perfect stomachs, perfect breasts, strechmark free skin. It bothers me when people look at me when I eat in public. I wonder what they are thinking and whether they are judging. It bothers me when my parents imply that I used to be more slender.

       Recently I have gone shopping with my husband who due to the battles with his health has gone from a size 36 waist to size 38. He is getting ready for a big interview and wanted a new outfit. We went to Gap. In the store they have told us that they no longer carry a size 38 unless you shop online. This is the first time I have seen the glaring way media now objectifies men. It has come to this; they are doing to men what they have been doing to women for years!
       My husband is not fat. He too has a heavy frame and a bit of a gut but he is by no means fat. 38 is not an unreasonable size and yet one of the biggest clothing brands has decided that it is too fat to be put in their stores... I am at a loss of words...

Today I have came across a video that closely matches the topic of this post. See below: